


Bad Habits

by TheSpideyRanger



Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Mentions of the other Rangers, idk - Freeform, mentions of eating disorders, slightly ooc?, the angst train has arrived, this is your captain speaking, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-14 04:35:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10529064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSpideyRanger/pseuds/TheSpideyRanger
Summary: It was a sad kind of irony to Trini that someone as stunning as Kimberly could think of herself as anything less than that. Not that Trini was asking for her best friend and girlfriend to become vain and conceited, but she wishes that when she looked in the mirror she could feel happy and content at her reflection, instead of feeling sad and picking out and heavily critiquing every minuscule or nonexistent flaw. She had this knack for criticising flaws that weren’t even there.In High School the guidance counsellor will tell you to keep your head up and to be extra aware in case you need to protect yourself from “rowdy students. Which Trini thought was a load of bull, anyway. But Trini had not expected, in Kimberly’s case, for the situation to be that she needed to be protected from herself.





	

It was a sad kind of irony to Trini that someone as stunning as Kimberly could think of herself as anything less than that. Not that Trini was asking for her best friend and girlfriend to become vain and conceited, but she wishes that when she looked in the mirror she could feel happy and content at her reflection, instead of feeling sad and picking out and heavily critiquing every minuscule or nonexistent flaw. She had this knack for criticising flaws that weren’t even there. 

In High School the guidance counsellor will tell you to keep your head up and to be extra aware in case you need to protect yourself from “rowdy students. Which Trini thought was a load of bull, anyway. But Trini had not expected, in Kimberly’s case, for the situation to be that she needed to be protected from herself.

Trini can remember a time where she would sometimes get bouts of jealousy over little things Kimberly did. At first it was how she always seemed to look good, no matter if they were going out for coffee or training in the pit with the guys. Sometimes it was her effortless sassiness, her fearlessness, and how she was smarter than she let on. At some point it was something as silly as the fact that Kimberly seemed so confident and self-assured, which enabled her to stand out in a crowd and command everyone’s attention, whereas Trini mostly just faded into the background and went unnoticed a lot of the time, which is what she wants so resenting Kim for it was stupid. But she couldn’t help but be slightly jealous that her fellow ranger seemed perfect. Maybe even too perfect.

She was jealous of Kimberly’s physique, not really questioning why she was so thin in the first place, but when she found out why she realised that jealousy was not the emotion she should be feeling. More so remorse that she didn’t notice anything sooner.

Trini had never given a second thought to how Kimberly seemed to be physically unable to receive a compliment from anyone. The first time she’d addressed it had sated her curiosity on the subject and effectively distracted her for the time being.

***

“You know Kim, I don’t know how you do it, but you make our suits look good.” Trini stated as they walked aimlessly down the schools empty halls, their Saturday detention finally over. Kimberly just blushed lightly and shakes her head in dismissal.

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Trini. You know as well as I do that I look like crap.” Trini frowned, her best friend always did this and she didn’t know why. At first she thought the girl was too modest for her own good, too humble to accept compliments. For a brief moment she thought Kimberly enjoyed the attention she got when she refused a compliment and that she was fishing for them on purpose to fill her ego, but then realised that wasn’t how Kimberly was, at least not anymore, she didn’t like the extra attention she got sometimes. In fact, she loathed it.

“You always do that.” The latina accused, stopping in her tracks. Kimberly stopped as well and turned to her friend with confusion laced in her features.

“Do what?” She questioned, completely at a loss as to what she’s done to upset her best friend.

“You never take a compliment, it’s like you’re allergic to them or something.” Kimberly looked down. There were numerous reasons she hated being complimented, reasons she hated herself for, and reasons that she’s slightly embarrassed by, especially if it’s Trini complimenting her. “You’re so beautiful Kimberly.” She whispered and tilted Kimberly’s chin up, looking earnestly into her eyes. “Seriously, you’re like the prettiest girl in the whole of Angel Grove.”

“Stop.” Kimberly whined and tried to slap Trini’s hand away so she could go back to staring at the floor.

“No, I’ll keep telling you how stunning you are until you either believe me or tell me why you can’t take my compliments. Believe me, I could go on for hours.” She drawled and Kimberly huffed in acceptance.

“Fine.” She paused as she gathered her thoughts and reasonings, deciding on one that could potentially make the both of them happy, and allowing Kimberly to keep her deepest secret in the dark. “When you tell me how beautiful I am, it makes me feel certain feelings…” She trailed off.

"What kind of feelings?” Trini questioned, silently praying that Kimberly was going where she was hoping she was going with this.

“Feelings I shouldn’t be having for my best friend.”

***

And that was the end of that. Their friendship had blossomed naturally into a relationship from that conversation and they couldn’t have been happier, at least, Trini couldn’t.

They’d exclusively been each other’s for nearing half a year and in the last few weeks Kimberly has been acting strange. And if Trini hadn’t been so blinded by falling in love with Kimberly Hart she would’ve noticed sooner that this change in behaviour had been going on for much, much longer than a few weeks. In fact, it wasn’t even a change in behaviour but an amplification of what has always been there now that Trini had been paying closer attention to her girl.

Kimberly had been crying for help for months and Trini hadn’t noticed.

If you were to ask Trini when this had begun she would narrow it down to a little while before they had gotten together, become Power Rangers and actually gotten to know each other, because that was when Trini had noticed Kimberly’s tendency to turn down compliments and her odd habits around food. 

If you were to ask Kimberly when this had begun she would tell you of the time when she was nearly 13 and had stuck her fingers down her throat for the first time after her mother had told her she was too fat to fit into her sari for her ritu kala, when in fact it was just that her chest had grown since she’d had the sari fitted months ago that made the measurements all wrong and ill-fitting.

From that point it had become a habit Kimberly had adopted for when she felt bad about her body or when someone criticised her appearance until it turned into where she would force herself to throw up if she’d exceeded her self-implemented calorie regime.

She got away with it for years until she had been caught by her mom with her fingers down her throat, purging a particularly bad binge, at three in the morning at the end of her freshman year of High School. Her mother had then forced Kimberly into a rehabilitation clinic over the summer until she could be trusted around food again. She carried on into her Sophomore year as if nothing had happened, not that she wanted anyone to know, neither did her mother who would not have their family name tarnished just because Kimberly wasn’t mature enough to handle her insecurities like and adult.

If anyone were to ask where she was that summer, Kimberly was firmly encouraged to say she was visiting family in India.

For those few months following her summer long stint in rehab she had actually gone back to a normal eating routine that was healthy. That was until she looked at herself in the mirror for the first time since she left the centre to see what had become of her body, her degrading thoughts screaming much louder in her mind than the rational voice in her head telling her this was normal for a girl of her age. Stretch marks were normal. Not having a thigh gap was normal. Having a little tummy was normal. Except, Kimberly hated being normal. Average.

Once Thanksgiving and Christmas had passed and her parents had forgotten about last summer, she had gone back to her old ways, only this time she counted her calories much closer and skipped meals as often as she could. That hadn’t changed once she’d become a Power Ranger either. It had just become more difficult to hide her habits from Jason, Zack, Billy, and Trini. Especially Trini. 

Soon she’d developed a habit of skipping breakfast (not that anyone at home would notice), playing around with her lunch, taking a bite every now and then to avoid suspicion, until everyone else was done and left without noticing how little Kimberly had actually eaten, and throwing up her dinner. Add that with her constant talk of food and her intense relationship with the doughnuts she and Trini shared, and everyone was none the wiser.

That was until she couldn’t help but throw up every meal she ate and someone had caught her with her fingers down her throat, just like her mother had done those years ago, forcing herself to throw up, and unfortunately for Kimberly, that someone just so happened to be Trini.

The latina had followed her girlfriend to the bathroom that day after hearing a couple of cheerleaders gossiping about the bulimic in the bathroom and her instant thought as to who it was, was Kimberly. There was a niggling in the back of her mind that had told her it was her, but her heart had screamed for it not to be. Her girlfriend was fine, healthy, and allergic to compliments, but fine nonetheless. But practically, she knew. Which is why she wasn’t surprised to find her in the position she was in.

She was just sad and felt guilty for not noticing anything sooner.

She had had her suspicions for a little while, her first coming from the first time they were intimate with each other and as Trini was kissing a path down Kimberly’s body, she noticed how she could see every rib on her way down and how her stomach was so concaved her hip bones looked like they could cut you.

Her second suspicion had come when they were walking down a hallway and Billy, seemingly late for class, had come barreling past them with a quick “hi” and “bye”, bumping shoulders with Kimberly who would have gone flying had it not been for Trini’s arm saving her.

She had had so many hints after that because now she was looking for them. She’d noticed Kimberly disappearing after every lunch only to return ten minutes later looking worse for wear. She had noticed how she played with her food at dinner time and hardly ate anything. She had noticed how Kimberly’s clothes had begun to hang off of her thin frame even more than they used to. She noticed the bags under her eyes, the hollowness of her cheeks, how her tan skin had taken on a permanent pale glow. She noticed everything.

Yesterday she had found Kimberly crying silently to herself in an empty bathroom on the top floor and when Trini had asked her what was wrong and tried to comfort her she had just gotten up and walked away leaving the shorter girl confused. Until she where Kimberly had just been and found a clump of hair. That had sealed her suspicions and had set something off in her brain. So she’d resolved to confront her girlfriend the next day.

Which brings us to now with Trini holding a sobbing Kimberly on the floor, Trini crying herself as she wraps her arms around her girlfriend. She’s so skinny. When she had pulled her into her lap it felt as if she was holding a small child she was that light and small.

“We’ll get you help, okay?” She said and pressed a kiss to Kimberly’s temple, only for the girl to jump back in alarm.

“We can’t! They’ll take me away from here, from you! How can I be a Power Ranger i rehab? I can’t go back there” She yelled and set off another fresh set of tears. “I need you, Trini.” She whispered, clinging to her girlfriend tighter and burying her head in her neck. Trini felt her heart break and felt an array of questions form themselves in her mind.

“Okay, but we have to tell someone. Maybe the guys first?” She suggested and felt Kimberly nod, much to her relief. “Okay. good. We’ll tell them tomorrow.” Again, she felt a nod and sighed in relief. “Kimberly? Baby, can you look at me?” She asked and felt Kimberly pull herself away from her neck almost instantly.

“Yeah?” Her voice was hoarse.

“I know this probably doesn’t count for much, but to me, you’re absolutely perfect the way you are.” She declared and Kimberly could see the honesty in Trini’s eyes, which caused tears to well in her own. She leaned forward and rested her forehead against Trini’s.

“Thank you.” She whispered. “I’ll get better, for you, I promise.”

“No. I want you to get better for yourself.”

“I’ll try.”


End file.
